


Heroes need Pockets Too

by italiantwist



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Sorry Steve, Steve Rogers Angst, Tony Angst, Tony needs some Chapstick, everyone gets a lil chapped sometimes, or should i say CAPstick, superheroes may or may not need pockets, where else would they put their CHAPSTICK
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-07 14:04:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13436337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/italiantwist/pseuds/italiantwist
Summary: In which Tony's suit has pockets and mid-fight his chapstick falls out. How much rage and panic can this lip moisturizer cause?!orTony can't hold onto his fucking chapstick and it frustrates the hell out of him as well as everyone else trying to find it. Please someone help him.





	Heroes need Pockets Too

Tony Stark the genius billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, that no one considered would completely go insane over losing a tube of chapstick during battle. Iron pockets, he said. They would be useful, he said. His planning was not exactly full proof.

He stormed through the living room at an alarming rate, overturning any pillow and looking under any piece of furniture in his line of sight. Sitting there was a thoroughly confused Bruce expecting the worst - like he lost his blueprints to something or maybe even his favorite coffee mug.

"Tony is everything okay?" he asked, sitting up slightly from his position on the couch. He almost jumped as Tony stood abruptly, eyes filled slightly with panic and anger. A deep sigh came from him, shifting his stance to look seriously at Bruce.

"I lost my chapstick and it causing me to fall into a pit of deep distress." Tony stated.

"You literally carry at least $700 dollars with you all the time, just get a new one." he replied, wondering how he had come to a point where behavior like this was normal. Tony narrowed his eyes at him. "I knew you wouldn't understand." he stormed out of the room without another word. He didn't even get a chance to ask the brand.

•

Steve was just casually enjoying his day in his room, sketching and relaxing for once in his life. That was until the door flew open, slamming against the wall and bouncing back just in time to miss the figure that was somewhat stomping into the room. He sat up straight on the bed, back against the pillows and headboard. He finally took time to focus on the fact that this wasn't some strange creature to bust into his room, but Tony, sifting through his bedside table and any other cabinets that were placed around his room.

"Tony...what? Why are you-? What?" he sputtered out, trying to make sense of the situation.

He got no response as Tony continued to go through his things. Steve stood, placing a hand on the other mans shoulder to stand him up and turn him around to face him.

"What are you looking for?" he shot out at him, calm but quick to get to his point. "My fucking chapstick! It flew out of those stupid iron pockets!" he growled out at Steve.

Steve sighed - of course he was wound up over something like this. "Just take mine." he reached in his back pocket, handing him the bright yellow carmex tube. "Here."

"It's not Burts Bees!" he shouted, once again rushing out of the room.

•

5 days later, he revisits his lab to further investigate is lost lover. His lips had never been so chapped. He just wanted to finish ONE chapstick without losing it. His mind wandered and considered checking the iron pockets one last time but he had already checked several times, there was no way it could be in there.

As he peered into the left front pocket placed on his suit, there was absolutely nothing. He did the same with the front and back right. Hope draining, he peeked into the back left pocket, pleasantly surprised and relieved to see the red and yellow tube he adored so much.

He cracked open the Burt's Bees strawberry chapstick, sliding it over his abused and dry lips. It had never felt so good to have moisturized lips. He would never let it out of his sight again.

•

At the next fight which happened to be one week later - he lost it again. Sick of this bullshit, he took Bruce's advice and ordered 100 on amazon.

**Author's Note:**

> kinda sorry, kinda not. I'm only good at crack fics bc i'm not mentally stable ;0;0;0;0
> 
> I also love burt's bees chapstick sorry
> 
>  
> 
> [send requests to my tumblr!](https://starrymarvel.tumblr.com)


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